Okay. So here is something very funny and very true to me. I found this on a myspace profile and thought I would share with you some of the stuff that I deal with nearly every day. The profile I found this on is a profile of a guy who has created a movie about his and others struggles with Crohns Disease and Ulcerative Colitis. I can't wait to see this movie because it could help me better deal with my disease. It's also really good that a guy has spent so much of his time devoted to spreading the word about these two Inflammatory Bowel Diseases that not too many know about. I have edited this list to things that I have actually dealt with...there were many other things on this list that I haven't had the fortune of having to do. Just want to let you know that some of the things are very gross, but so very true....
You know you have UC when....
"You know you have UC when:
When you travel, your meds have their own suitcase.
You were thrilled to have had 'only' 5 bm's today.
-you wonder how much crap can come out of one person!
-you're happy when you have a big loud burp because you're thankful it's not coming out the other end!
One BM per day makes you want to stand up and shout "hip hip hooray!"
You Know that you have UC when......
1) Everyone is your GI's office knows your name without looking on the chart or the sign in sheet.
2) The Lab techs tell you that they are going to name their next lab machine in honor of their best customer (Me).
3) You leave the Pharmacy with a HUGE bag of enemas.
4) Your Morning workout is a Sprint to the bathroom
5) You have 3 different sizes of the same clothes.
6) You are in Remission and just appreciate the little things in life that you overlooked before you had UC.
You know every bathroom where you work, and everyone knows where you are headed when you say...."I'll be right back" with a funny look on your face.
Your colon gurgles and its so loud that everyone around you asks if you are hungry.
You know that you have UC when:
Truck stop bathrooms don't even Phase you.
You know you have UC when:
You know where the bathroom is everywhere you go
You have your GI on speed dial
When you carry your own toilet paper.
When you bring your own food for just you to a holiday party
When your friends keep asking you "Can you eat this?"
When you look at every ingredient on everything you eat
When you're always the designated driver
When you keep all your books in the bathroom next to the toilet
You are the youngest patient in your Gi's office.
You count your movements...
You regularly stock the bathroom with extra rolls of Toilet paper
If you read all of these posts and laugh because they sound "just like you"....
You are better at describing the intricacies of poo than wine.
The word stool NEVER refers to something to sit or stand on.
You wonder if that's really going to be a fart.
You can say, "It's not the colonoscopy that's bad, it's the PREP!"
Your Dr. says "how many times are you going?" and never "turn your head and cough”
You know you have UC when you buy TP in bulk and the cashier thinks it's because you run a day care center.
You know you have UC when..............
You have read every magazine or paper in your bathroom so many times, that you start reading the ingredient lists on toothpaste, gel, shampoo and anything else you can get your hands on without getting off the toilet........
...Talking about your BMs normally happens at dinner
...You have a standard answer when anyone asks, "What's UC?"
...You go to pick up the *evil* Prep at the pharmacy and the pharmacist, who is about your age and says, "I'm sorry."
...You can tell your parents that a colonoscopy isn't a big deal
...You are on a first name basis with your GI.
You know you have UC when...
you start to furnish your bathroom.
....when you get SICK of people asking you "How are you feeling?".
You know you have UC when...
…you undue your belt and zipper before you even enter the bathroom.
…you go house or apartment hunting and you are only interested in the number and location of bathrooms.
These are soooo sad but so true and funny!
You know you have Uc when
-You have a pill count contest with your grandmother
When you go to the pharmacy and they greet you by your first name and they know which prescriptions you want filled without looking in the computer.
When seeing blood is no longer a cause for concern.
-you go to the drugstore and the pharmacist looks at you and says
"oh only one prescription to refill today."
-you have used the bathroom in every McDonalds, gas station and fast food restaurant in a 10 mile radius of your house
-you can talk about poop all day and not flinch
-your friends ask you in hushed voices how that stomach thing is going
you know you have UC when
-you keep a detailed journal about what you ate and how it came out
-you have supplies in the car for "just in case"
you have your bad days... very bad, and you have your good days, but you can keep a sense of humor thru it all and still laugh about poo. :)
when..........
You're allowed to get up from your work station ten times a day, no questions asked and if they are asked.. that person regrets it.
In your 1 bed 1 bath home, you always win the race to the bathroom, no matter what.
People who manage a glimpse into your purse (okay, so i dont have a purse) give you strange looks, assuming you're addicted to pills, close friends make sure you remember those pills.
You know you have UC when...
your morning stretches consist of bending over to examine your poo.
If you've ever rushed to a public bathroom only to find each stall occupied, turned around, gone through the door across the hall into the ladies' bathroom and whooshing past a few shocked women on your way to the most beautiful and inviting toilet your eyes have ever beheld.
You know you have UC when....
"You know you have UC when:
When you travel, your meds have their own suitcase.
You were thrilled to have had 'only' 5 bm's today.
-you wonder how much crap can come out of one person!
-you're happy when you have a big loud burp because you're thankful it's not coming out the other end!
One BM per day makes you want to stand up and shout "hip hip hooray!"
You Know that you have UC when......
1) Everyone is your GI's office knows your name without looking on the chart or the sign in sheet.
2) The Lab techs tell you that they are going to name their next lab machine in honor of their best customer (Me).
3) You leave the Pharmacy with a HUGE bag of enemas.
4) Your Morning workout is a Sprint to the bathroom
5) You have 3 different sizes of the same clothes.
6) You are in Remission and just appreciate the little things in life that you overlooked before you had UC.
You know every bathroom where you work, and everyone knows where you are headed when you say...."I'll be right back" with a funny look on your face.
Your colon gurgles and its so loud that everyone around you asks if you are hungry.
You know that you have UC when:
Truck stop bathrooms don't even Phase you.
You know you have UC when:
You know where the bathroom is everywhere you go
You have your GI on speed dial
When you carry your own toilet paper.
When you bring your own food for just you to a holiday party
When your friends keep asking you "Can you eat this?"
When you look at every ingredient on everything you eat
When you're always the designated driver
When you keep all your books in the bathroom next to the toilet
You are the youngest patient in your Gi's office.
You count your movements...
You regularly stock the bathroom with extra rolls of Toilet paper
If you read all of these posts and laugh because they sound "just like you"....
You are better at describing the intricacies of poo than wine.
The word stool NEVER refers to something to sit or stand on.
You wonder if that's really going to be a fart.
You can say, "It's not the colonoscopy that's bad, it's the PREP!"
Your Dr. says "how many times are you going?" and never "turn your head and cough”
You know you have UC when you buy TP in bulk and the cashier thinks it's because you run a day care center.
You know you have UC when..............
You have read every magazine or paper in your bathroom so many times, that you start reading the ingredient lists on toothpaste, gel, shampoo and anything else you can get your hands on without getting off the toilet........
...Talking about your BMs normally happens at dinner
...You have a standard answer when anyone asks, "What's UC?"
...You go to pick up the *evil* Prep at the pharmacy and the pharmacist, who is about your age and says, "I'm sorry."
...You can tell your parents that a colonoscopy isn't a big deal
...You are on a first name basis with your GI.
You know you have UC when...
you start to furnish your bathroom.
....when you get SICK of people asking you "How are you feeling?".
You know you have UC when...
…you undue your belt and zipper before you even enter the bathroom.
…you go house or apartment hunting and you are only interested in the number and location of bathrooms.
These are soooo sad but so true and funny!
You know you have Uc when
-You have a pill count contest with your grandmother
When you go to the pharmacy and they greet you by your first name and they know which prescriptions you want filled without looking in the computer.
When seeing blood is no longer a cause for concern.
-you go to the drugstore and the pharmacist looks at you and says
"oh only one prescription to refill today."
-you have used the bathroom in every McDonalds, gas station and fast food restaurant in a 10 mile radius of your house
-you can talk about poop all day and not flinch
-your friends ask you in hushed voices how that stomach thing is going
you know you have UC when
-you keep a detailed journal about what you ate and how it came out
-you have supplies in the car for "just in case"
you have your bad days... very bad, and you have your good days, but you can keep a sense of humor thru it all and still laugh about poo. :)
when..........
You're allowed to get up from your work station ten times a day, no questions asked and if they are asked.. that person regrets it.
In your 1 bed 1 bath home, you always win the race to the bathroom, no matter what.
People who manage a glimpse into your purse (okay, so i dont have a purse) give you strange looks, assuming you're addicted to pills, close friends make sure you remember those pills.
You know you have UC when...
your morning stretches consist of bending over to examine your poo.
If you've ever rushed to a public bathroom only to find each stall occupied, turned around, gone through the door across the hall into the ladies' bathroom and whooshing past a few shocked women on your way to the most beautiful and inviting toilet your eyes have ever beheld.
posted by Reid at 2:53 PM
0 comments
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